Second to Last Blog Post

I have one more full day of high school. WHOA.

I have been alternating between a strange serenity and an increasingly familiar feeling of panic about leaving home. I am a home-body, incredibly nostalgic and resistant to change. I am not excited about moving "out of the house" or "away from my family." Those two repercussions are going to be the absolute worst part of going to college for me. I hate the idea of leaving my parents and sister and dog behind in the house that I have grown up in while I explore some foreign land without them. But, at the same time, I feel that this is the right decision. I have always known I wanted to go out-of-state for college and I have always dreaded it. The adjustment will be difficult and depressing but I still feel that it is the best choice. I can't really put my reasoning into words but something my mom said this weekend really resonated with and comforted me. 

She remembered when I heard a presentation in 5th grade about Kealing and I came home excited about the idea of going there. My mom was completely prepared for me to go to O. Henry. She knew which teachers I would want, which parents would be on PTA with her, which classes are the best. And she had never heard of Kealing. Once I had decided I wanted to go to Kealing, I never looked back and, as my mom put it, "I loved the adventure." I think going to Guilford will be different in some ways. I am sure I will doubt my choice for awhile. I will probably be tempted to catch the first flight home a few times but I think the outcome will be the same. I will trust my intuition and survive my freshman year. I will gain an independence I couldn't have from Texas and I'm sure I'll benefit in ways I can't imagine now. I will love the adventure.

I just need to work up the courage to take off.